Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight | Video on TED.com

Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight | Video on TED.com

Today I am a crocodile

I have the distinct impression that I am an old croc wallowing in dark waters. I

feel the heaviness of mud as my eyes hover just above the surface. I am cold of
heart and don't want to move. I only know a feeling of wanting to be near the
earth. I like the light that is gentle, not forcing away my solitude. I like the

company of others who let me have my space. I have no heart for idle chatter and

shy away from the busy-ness beyond my borders. I want less to sing than to moan.

I want less to move than to float. I own my own territory with assured-ness of

my own ferocity. It is not cruel it is merely protecting the sanctity of my own
desired experience. That life that became me this day wouldn't have it any other

way. For now I am this not that. Only for a while will I hold down the errant
desires that lead me toward glee. For now I honor the right to be dark and cold
and wet. For now I honor the distinctiveness of my own present moment
experience. And for now I am met only by those who know how to honor such places

in themselves.

The weighty one

I want to do my practice close to the earth. I want to let the light come in through one crack at a time, not all at once. I want to stay with these unsteady places, one moment at a time. I don't want to come into fullness just yet, not too quickly. Let me revel in this authentic moment, listen for the crackling of this page of my life as it turns slowly in one or the other direction. I want to be with her, the lonely one, the one whose heart bears the burdens of the world. Why does she do this? What message is she trying to scratch into the earth?

"I want to come home now," she whispers into my ear. I have to be gentle and slow or she will retreat. "I want you to know me just as I am. I don't want you to push me toward someone else's image of who I am. I want you to feel the cracks and crevices that have been etched into my form. I am humanity's soul and I am your own." I pause, grateful for little to distract me in this moment. I begin to remember why this flavor is delectable all on its own. It brings on the fullness of time. It pours on the slow and ancient wisdom like lava slowly descending to create a more fertile land.

Oh, I remember, I know some more of who I am than I did a moment ago. I am grateful the sun is not shining more brightly, grateful for the soft cloud cover that allows the shadows to be revealed in me with all that they offer up through my soul.

When I place my hand on you I hope you will recover some more of this in your own deep garden, in the place that was hidden from you once, but came home again when you were ready to listen and receive more, and more, and more...